The Breakup of Richard and Joan's marriage in Updike's "Separating"

 

     The restlessness that is inherent to most adults as they enters their middle age years, also known as "mid-life crisis", is what I observe as the root cause for the dissolution of the Maple family; RichardŐs intended dealings with his crisis in particular. Although his age is never stated, the circumstances surrounding his life such as being the father of four children between the ages of 20 (assumed) and 13 suggest that he is between 40 and 50. "When people are in their 20s and 30s, a number of different career or personal paths are open. When they get into their 40s, they begin to realize that they have made decisions that are either irrevocable or can be changed only with great difficulty. It's also a time when they begin to recognize that they have some physical limitations. For all these reasons, people may feel overwhelmed by the changes that are occurring." 1 With this realization comes the desire to breakaway from the reality that he created in search of his lost youth.

     Richard evidently is seeing another woman. As he contemplates getting beyond the experience of informing his children of his leaving, the "four knifelike walls" as he describes it, the thought of her is described as "His skull cupped a secret, a white face, a face both frightened and soothing." His apprehension as to how this woman would be perceived is apparent as Richard later relates his exasperation to how calmly the news was received. He observes to Joan, ŇNo thought of a third person. Not even Judith.Ó Joan is not anxious to lessen his ordeal. She scolds him for his desire to make one general announcement to the kids as being a "cop-out," and reminds him the "They're each individuals, you know, not some corporate obstacle to your freedom."


     The individual reactions of the Judith, the eldest, and Margaret, the baby, lead one to believe that the disbanding of the family has been long in coming. Judith does not seem to be fazed in the slightest. After hearing her mother talk of the separation as being an experiment, she remarks "I think its silly. You should either live together or get divorced." Having recently tasted ŇfreedomÓ from her parents by living in England for the previous year, her attitude may have been jaded toward the ideals espoused by the feminist movement that was in full swing during the time of the writing of this story. Margaret reacts in a manner that is described as "the faintly dramatized exclamation of one who had long expected it." Collectively their responses suggest that certain observations had been made over a protracted period of time that lead the children to conclude that this action was inevitable.


     The new clay tennis court as well as a comment he makes to his youngest son Richard Jr. stand as testimony to RichardŐs thinking in regard to his own life. With regard to the court, one would think that after recently having it built, one would certainly see it through to completion. Instead, its disposition is described as follows: "its net and tapes still rolled in the barn, an environment congruous with his mood of purposeful desolation." While discussing his sonŐs "sad year" in school, the dad remarks, "We'll think about getting you transferred. Life's too short to be miserable." Richard is expressing the desire for a change in HIS life.


     No weighty information with regard to JoanŐs thoughts are provided. The author isolates the character of the father/husband. Perhaps he identified with Richard. Absent any other causal factors, I conclude that the root cause for the principal members of the Maple family to be "Separating" lies with the husbandŐs desire to recapture his lost youth.



1 Mid-life Crisis: Feelings of Loss and Anxiety -April 1999- November 18, 2001 http://www.medctr.ucla.edu/vitalsigns/mid_life.htm

 

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